50 Ways To Annoy A Sohma During A 'Normal' Week
by Shh - my pen name is pen name
Summary: Dear reader, I promise you that if you do everything on this list Akito Sohma's insanity level will increase by 98%. I must warn you though, there is no garantee you will come out unharmed.
1. Aktio Sohma

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, Natsuki Takaya does. **

50 Ways To Annoy The Female Akito Sohma

1. Duct tape children to her arms

2. Sew grapes to her pillows

3. Give her an **'I heart Mom' **T-shirt

4. Let Ayame re-do her wardrobe

5. Allow Ayame to re-do her room

6. Kill ALL the birds in the area

7. Feed her cheerio's for breakfast and tell her; "They'll give you a happy and peppy day!"

8. Play elevator music all day

9. Handcuff her and Shigure together

10. Make her watch Twilight

11. Yell 'Look Shigure's A Star!' every time Jacob appears

12. Yell 'Look it's Hatori' every time Carlisle appears

13. Yell 'Hey look it's you!' every time Jane appears

14. Give her an 'Victoria's Secret' gift card

15. Tell her the gift cards from Shigure

16. Serve her fried chicken and sparrow for dinner

17. Pretend you still think she's a guy and give her the male puberty talk

18. Sign her up on a dating site as a guy

19. Force her on a blind date with Tohru, still pretending to think she's a guy

20. Tell her you figured out her big secret to scare her, but then say; "You wished you had went to college!"

21. 'Find out she was a girl' and make her listen to a female-puberty talk

22. Make constant remarks comparing what her and Kureno's kids would be like, to her and Shigure's kids

23. Draw pictures of her and Shigure making-out

24. Draw pictures of her and Tohru shopping together happily

25. Hang them up in her room

26. Sing to her about happiness and love

27. Read her the bible

28. Read her the torah

29. Bring her to church

30. Fill her room with rats and cats

31. Make-out with Kureno

32. Bring her and Ren to a Dr. Phil show

33. Get ALL the zodiac drunk

34. Get her a job as a day-care teacher

35. Enroll her in severe-anger-management-for-delinquents classes

36. Give her a T-shirt with Ren's face on it

37. Give her a T-shirt with Tohru's face in it

38. Sign her up for piccolo lessons

39. Make cookies with Kureno's face on them

40. Eat the cookies

41. Buy her a black Labrador named Shigure

42. Buy her a sparrow named Kureno

43. Let the dog eat the sparrow

44. Give Momiji coffee and then duct tape him to her ceiling; lock the door so she can't get out

45. Force anti-depressants down her throat

46. Spill body glitter on her face

47. During the next new-years party 'accidentally fall' and rip her kimono off, so everyone knows she's a girl

48. Tell her that her mother was hit by a car and died

49. When she plans a 'Yea, my mom's dead' party, send Ren an invitation

50. Rain on her parade

**Author's Note: I love Akito…**


	2. Kyo Sohma

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, Natsuki Takaya does…

**50 Ways To Annoy Kyon-kichi Sohma**

1. If he announces that he is hungry hand him a cardboard box full of LIVE mice.

2. Hang feathers and other assorted cat toys from the ceiling

3. Tie a bell around his neck when he's asleep; knot it so he can't remove it

4. Sing the meow-mix theme song every time you see him

5. Ask him if Kureno makes his cat senses hungry… (Kureno is a very edible sparrow)

6. Buy him a litter box and lock the bathroom so he HAS to use it

7. Feed him catnip until he is so hungry he eats it

8. Replace his bed with a 'Pet-Polly's orange bagel cat bed'

9. Place a goldfish bowl in front of him and ask him if it makes him hungry

10. Dump a bucket of water on his head

11. When he starts yelling reply; "What? It was all in the name of Sohma-Science, you just helped me prove that cats hate water!"

12. Buy him a bunch of wind-up mice; release them in his room one after another

13. Give Tohru a cat-care guide

14. When he yells at you reply: "What? It's to insure that your marriage will go perfectly, she'll know how to take care of you flawlessly~!"

15. Handcuff him to Momiji

16. Lock him in a room with Ayame and Shigure; lock the door and make sure it is impossible for him to kick down the walls, door, etc.

17. Suggest that they all sing songs by 'Aqua' and 'Toy-box', while they are locked in that room

18. Force him to watch Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse while locked in that room

19. Force him to watch Kureno and Akito make-out

20. Force him to watch Shigure and Akito make-out

21. Don't tell him Akito is actually a girl

22. Pants him in front of 'black-Haru'

23. Tie him to Arisa

24. Draw pictures of him and _Shigure_ making-out

25. Make constant remarks about how much better Tohru's kids would turn out if she has them with Yuki

26. Ask him how many times he was dropped on the head

27. Say it was probably because his mom was hoping that whatever is currently wrong would be reversed

28. When he complains about that answer reply; "Fine I'll tell you the truth, *sigh*, she was trying to kill you."

29. Join him on the roof and start trying to rap about Ayame and his hair

30. When he yells about leaving push him of the roof

31. When he screams 'OW' say; "Oops, Sohma-Science myth number two proven wrong: cats do NOT always land on their feet.

32. Tie him to a drunk Hatori

33. Do bad imitations of Kazuma: "To be nice is to be a happy bumblebee"

34. Re-do the walls in his room with pink, kitten-covered wall paper

35. Call him 'fluffy' and 'princess'

36. Ask him if he's related to Edward Cullen since his eyes are red

37. Buy him a cape and tell him admit that he is a REAL vampire

38. Replace all his clothes with skin-tight jeans and T-shirts

39. Sell his underwear to Kagura

40. Sell his baby pictures to Kagura AND Yuki

41. When he coughs ask; "Can I keep the hairball your choking on?"

42. When Kyo get's mad, state; "Now Kyo, don't get into a hissy fit!"

43. Ask him if his favorite color is **purrrrr**ple.

44. When Shigure walks in the door scream: "KYO, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE THERE'S A DOG!"

45. When Tohru suggests we play a game reply; "No thank you, I don't pay with people related to cheetahs."

46. Ask him if he is related to the Weasley's

47. Send Kagura a love-confession letter; sign it with his name

48. Send Kagura photo-shopped pictures of him and Tohru making out

49. Send Yuki photo-shopped pictures of Kyo playing Barbie's

50. Announce the official 'Hug A Kyo Sohma' day.

Authors Note: Ha, ha, ha! So much fun to write! Dedicated to Lady Lawless

Cheetah's are big cats, hence the joke…(I know that's pretty cheesy, tee-hee~!


	3. Kagura Sohma

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, Natsuki Takaya does.

50 Ways Kagura Sohma

1. Send Kyo to a deserted island in the middle of the Pacific

2. Shoot orange cats with paint ball guns; make sure the paint is _blood_ red

3. Give her a life size poster of Kyo; make sure the poster is actually Kyo and Tohru making-out

4. Eat jars of bacon bits every time you see her

5. Kill Kyo

6. Kiss Kyo

7. Lock her and a drunk Shigure in a room; see who comes out a live

8. Constantly use the phrase; "When pigs fly!"

9. Take her on a 'field-trip' to a slaughter house

10. Put coins in her pocket coins in her pocket every time you walk by

11. When she asks why reply; "Well you ARE my new **piggy** bank!"

12. Point a knife at her and scream: "Who wants HAM!"

13. Fill her bedroom with mud and tell her to; "Roll around in it like a real pig!"

14. Tell her; "Kagura, your going to need some fating-up if we're going to serve you for Christmas dinner!"

15. Tell her; "Edward Cullen is so much better then Kyo!"

16. Sing old McDonald had a farm ever time you see her

17. Lock her in a farm

18. Send her an invitation to Kyo and Tohru's wedding!

19. Recite lines from 'When You Give A Pig a Pancake' whenever she's around her

20. Call her 'Piglet', from Whinnie the Pooh

21. 'Mistake' her for Shigure

22. Call her Wilber from 'Charlotte's Web'

23. Call her Penelope

24. Serve her 'slop' for dinner

25. When she says she's going shopping ask if you can go 'slopping' with her

26. Tell her to stop '**hog**ging' Kyo

27. Ask her; "So Kagura I was wondering, is you favorite Shakespeare play **Ham**let?"

28. Ask; "So dogs love pigs-ear dog treats; have you considered donating yours to Shigure."

29. when she's sick, tell her; "Well Kagura, Hatori has prescribed you some **'Pig**icillin'.

30. Scream; "OH NO, EVERYONE RUN! KAGURA'S GONNA' GIVE US SWINE FLU!"

31. Say; "So Kagura, I heard you do martial arts and I was wondering how good you were at the pork chop."

32. When she goes outside with Kyo tell her; "You two have fun at the pork on your lovey-dovey date.

33. Steal Kyo

34. Sell all of Kyo's things to Ayame so she can't have them

35. Call her 'Babe' from the pig movie 'Babe'.

36. Ask her if they want to play 'porker'

37. Steal all her cat plushies

38. Chase her with a hatchet screaming; "Come back here right now, I'm craving bacon!"

39. Set her up with a false Kyo date, make sure Kyo doesn't show up

40. Make Shigure show up instead

41. Have Ayame also show up

42. Send her a photo-shopped picture of Ayame and Kyo making-out

43. Make glass Kyo shaped dolls; don't let her have one

44. Sleep with the dolls

45. Smash the dolls in front of her face

46. Tell her your dating Kyo

47. Wear Kyo's clothes

48. Cut off Kyo's arm

49. Keep the arm

50. Tie Momiji to her back while he tries to rap about Kyo's anger!

_Authors note: After performing these things, you will not come out unharmed…_

_Haha, hope you enjoyed and it didn't get to cheesy!_


	4. Rin Sohma

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, Natsuki Takaya does. **This chapter might be more T rated, it depends on your opinion.

50 Ways To Annoy Rin Sohma

1. Replace all her walls with windows

2. Serve her steak and cheeseburgers as ALL her meals

3. Gift her an 'I heart Tohru' T-shirt

4. Give her an 'I heart God' T-shirt

5. Steal ALL her clothes while she is in the shower, so she has NOTHING at all; not even in her room

6. Leave a note that says: "You look better nude~!"

7. Sign the note; With love, Shigure

8. Let Ayame in her room after she reads the note

9. Send Hatsuharu to Australia

10. Make cookies with Hatsuharu's face on them

11. Smash the cookies with a hammer

12. 'Compliment' her with: "WOW! You and Ayame have so much in common! Are you related?"

13. Tell Hatsuharu that she is actually in love with Edward Cullen

14. Ask her if she is the dog of the zodiac

15. When she asks why say: "Well it's because your such a bitch."

16. Send her to a ranch

18. Call her 'Black Beauty', like the horse from the book

19. Every time she talks to you reply with the word 'neigh'.

20. Tell her not to go to France without a bodyguard.

21. When she asks why reply: "Well horse is the a popular meal"

22. Ask her what rhymes with horse other than whore

23. Buy her a saddle

24 Tell her the joke: "**Cow**boys **ride horses**" (Takes a perverted mind to understand this joke…)

25. Ask her if: "When you were a baby were you a Shetland pony and then upgraded to a Pampa horse?"

26. When she asks why a Pampa horse reply: "Because they are know for being obedient!"

27. Bring her to window therapy by taking her up onto the roof of a five-story building

28. Push her off the building

29. Yell that you need a **horse**pital

30. Later tell her; "Well you see, now you aren't afraid of window - your scared of roofs!"

31. Ask her how much horse power Hatori's car is

32. Buy her 300 boxes of condoms and tell her; "I saw you and Hatsuharu last night! Have fun~!'

33. Tell her; "I'll give you five bucks to model for the merry-go-round I'm building!"

34. Make her play the 'Barbie horse rescue' video game

35. Sell all her stuff on eBay

36. Cut her hair even shorter then Akito did

37. Call her 'emo-licious'

38. Ask her if she has ever considered being a star; "You could be the best horse a Budweiser commercial has ever seen!"

39. Give her sugar cubes and carrots

40. Give her horse shoes

41. Give her barrels of hay and then cover the floor of her room in it

42. Ask her if she's working the kiddy pony rides at this years city fair

43. Ask her if the fact that her and Hatsuharu are both farm animals is one of the reasons she's attracted to him

44. Ask her if she prefers being called 'Lightning' or 'Thunder'

45. Make a 'click-clack' noise, like a running horse, every time she walks by

46. Die and cut her hair the same as Akito's

47. Yell at her every time she drinks milk, saying; "Shouldn't you be supporting your boyfriend? So why are you drinking that milk, that's boyfriend-cannibalism!"

48. Make her wear a cowgirl outfit to school

49. Let Ayame design the cowgirl outfit

50. Send all the Sohma's a picture of her during these actions

_Authors Note: I know these are mean, but don't get me wrong I do like Rin. Dedicated to SerenityGreyWolf_


	5. Ayame Sohma

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, Natsuki Takaya does…

50 Ways To Annoy Ayame Sohma

1. Shave his head and sell his hair to paint-brush company

2. Buy all the paint brushes before he can

3. Burn the paint brushes in front of his face

4. Send Yuki to a deserted island in the middle of the Atlantic

5. Make him watch 'SAW'

6. Make him watch Gladiators

7. Make him play Call of Duty

8. Steal all the 'Barbies' we know he has

9. Replace his clothes with a Garbage man's uniform

10. Tell him Yuki's dead

11. Tell him you killed him

12. Tell him Yuki's last words were; "Thank God I never have to see Ayame-baka again!"

13. Die his hair neon green and give him an awful perm

14. Tell him he's gained twenty pounds in the last month

15. Ask if he's preganat since he is a girl

16. Send Hatori to the rain forest

17. Kidnap 'Gure-san'

18. Eat snakes for dinner

19. Steal all his 'I-love-Yuki' boxers, unless he wears women's lace panties…

20. Throw darts at pictures of Yuki

21. Tell him he's an insult to God's capability of making beauty

22. Set all his shop fabrics on fire and them bomb it

23. Call Yuki, while faking his voice, and tell him that Ayame wants to 'boil him in oil'

24. Do bad impressions of him; "I look like cupcake-a-dee's today-eth!"

25. Hide in his shower/bathroom and watch him

26. Die his skin blue

27. Constantly mistake him for an ugly woman

28. Follow him around while _trying_ to sing screamo

29. Create an '' Ayame-Sohma's-an-UGLY-BAKA" website and make it his homepage

30. Make sure he can't change his homepage

31. Constantly tell him how many people visited that website each day

32. Send him all the comments from the 'chat-room'

33. Tell him Hatori joined

34. Tell him Yuki joined

35. Constantly insult Ha'ri

36. Throw Ha'ri out the window and yell: "Rin repeat!"

37. Start rapping a song such as; "Ayames gotta piss, if he don't get in a toilet room, he'll get a hissy-fit! Oh!"

38. Fill his bed with spiders

39. Video tape his reaction

40. Put the video on You-tube

41. Buy him a pair of sake-skin boots; ones that he'll REALLY love

42. Replace all his glitter pens with old-fashioned quills; not pink ones

43. Redesign his house

44. Theme it as a '1600's pheasant home'

45. Bleach all the outfits he's made

46. Kill Yuki/Gure/Ha'ri

47. Fill his room with lawn mowers and weed whackers

48. Use the weed whackers to cut off half his hair

49. Give him REALLY bad lice

50. Make sure all the other Sohma's get lice and blame it on him!

_Authors Note: That was fun! Don't get me wrong though Ayame rocks, I actually blush when I read about him sometimes~! Haha…. Hop you enjoyed, let me know if you have any requests, I'll gladly write them! Dedicated to OMGFruitsBasketfanGirl_


	6. Yuki Sohma

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits basket, Natsuki Takaya does. If I did they would all eat pancakes while crying about Kisa getting an afro.**_

_50 Ways To Annoy Yuki Sohma_

_1. Surround his room in mouse traps before he wakes up_

_2. Paint his room like a castle and write 'Prince Yuki's Quarters' on his door_

_3. Die his hair orange like Kyo_

_4. Tell Haru Yuki wants to confess his love_

_5. Tie him to Akito_

_6. Handcuff him to Kyo_

_7. Sell his things to his fan club_

_8. Tie him to a chair at school_

_9. Let his fan club poke him, while he's tied to the chair, for 200 yen_

_10. Don't give him any of the money_

_11. Replace his text books with Shigure's 'novels'_

_12. Pronounce his name 'Yucky'_

_13. Change him into a rat and sell him to a little girl_

_14. Change him into a rat while in the pet store and leave him there_

_15. Make him watch 'Twilight' with Ayame_

_16. Lock him in a dark room_

_17. Mistake him for Ayame_

_18. Pants him_

_19. Say you were just trying to make sure he was a guy_

_20. Let Ayame re-do his wardrobe_

_21. Sign him up for cheerleading_

_22. Squeak every time he walks by_

_23. Scream: "Run for your life Yuki, it's a cat!", and point at Kyo_

_24. Put his bed in Shigure's room_

_25. Tell Ayame that Yuki wants to live with him_

_26. Move all his stuff into Ayame's house_

_27. Lock him in Ayame's house_

_28. Only let him out if he agrees to 'Sign all of his fan clubs backpacks.'_

_29. Bedazzle his homework_

_30. Buy him a pet cat for his birthday_

_31. Make sure the cat is orange_

_32. Name the cat Kyo_

_33. Make sure the cat doesn't like anybody_

_34. Lock him in a rat cage_

_35. Ask him if you can use him for your science project_

_36. When he asks why him, reply: "Well all great scientists use lab rats, of course!"_

_37. Tell him he should dress up as a girl so his fan club would leave him alone_

_38. Then tell him: "Anyway, it wouldn't be hard for you. All you must do is wear a skirt and stuff a bra"_

_39. Send him to a modeling company_

_40. Send all the pictures to the Sohma's_

_41. Push him into Kyo so they kiss_

_42. Hypnotize him so he thinks he is gay and in love with Shigure_

_43. Video tape it_

_44. Send it to all the Sohma's_

_45. Send it to his fan club_

_46. Put it on _

_47. Email it to him_

_48. Change him into a rat and release him in a restaurant kitchen_

_49. Call him 'Templeton' form 'Charlottes web"_

_50. Sing him the Barbie song_

_Author's Note: Yes I do like Yuki… Dedicated to - Kari Sohma! Thanks for reading, feel free to request a person!_


	7. Hatsuharu Sohma

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, Natsuki Takaya does… maybe someday I'll eat the books and say I 'pwned' them, ha ha!

50 Ways To Annoy Hatsuharu Sohma

1. Eat steak, meatballs, cheeseburgers

2. Kill Rin

3. Upset Yuki

4. Scream Moo

5. Sing 'And the cow jumped over the moon', every time he walks by

6. Bring him cow-tipping

7. Push him and scream, 'mwuhahaha, I call it cow-tipping!'

8. Make him watch 'Barnyard'

9. Make jokes with Shigure about 'milking him'

10. Make jokes about him 'milking' Rin

11. Ask him what kind of hair dye he uses

12. Ask him if hes 'got milk?'

13. Say: "Hatsuharu was your mother possibly a Dalmatian since you have black and white hair?"

14. Despite his answer, say: "So do you dream of becoming a fireman?"

15. Die the white part of his hair black

16. Push him to the ground and exclaim: "Ground beef!"

17. Ask if he's bipolar three days after he goes black

18. Ask: "Hey Hatsuharu want to go to the moo-vies with us

19. Steal Rin

20. Push her out the window and say that your the 'new Akito'

21. Leave him at a cow farm

22. Paint half his room black and half white, then say: "There, so when you change personality's you always have the correct surrounding!"

23. Serve him grass for dinner

24. Ask him if he is going to chew his stomach

25. When he asks why, reply: "Well, cows have three stomachs!"

26. Then ask him if one of his stomachs is black, one is white, and the one is gray

27. When e goes black call the insane asylum to take him away

28. Tell the Yuki fan club that he likes Yuki

29. Kill Yuki and Rin

30. Tie him to Ayame

31. Imitate the old student president

32. Call him pyshco

33. Ask him if he would enjoy some hay

34. Talk about how much you love to eat beef

35. Every time he goes on a date with Rin, pop out if no where and scream: "USE PROTECTION!"

36. Wake him up at 5:00am and ask him if he's ready to be milked (Yes, I know that can sound very wrong...)

37. Force him to where farm overalls

38. Chase him with a pitch fork

39. Give him ponytails and then say: "Look, now you have horns like a steer!"

40. Tell Rin he was trying to make fun of her so they fight

41. Ask him if he ate the flowers he was supposed to give to Rin

42. Dye his clothes pink

43. Ask him why he always loses to Kyo

44. Fill his room with tiny plastic cows tied to tiny plastic horses

45. Give him a statue of a cowboy riding a horse (**cow**boys **ride horse**s, perv-joke *cough*)

46. Force him to stand in a room with a high Ayame, pissed Hatori, and coffee obsessed Momiji

47. Constantly ask him why his jeans are so tight

48. Constantly ask him if he's gay

49. When he says he's bi ask him: :"Oh, so your dating Ayame since he's kinda both!"

50. Buy him three-hundred cows, and put them in his house

_Authors Note: I do like Hatsuharu, but that was fun! Dedicated to - Whisperfang !_


	8. Hiro Sohma

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, Natsuki Takaya does… Slight T content.**

50 Ways To Annoy Hiro Sohma

1. Steal Kisa

2. Tie him to Ayame and Shigure

3. Send them to go see 'Sex in the City', still tied together

4. Follow him around singing the 'Sailor Song' by Toybox

5. Call him chibi-chan

6. Ask him (scream); "HIRO, HAVE YOU KISSED KISA YET?"

7. Paint his room pink

8. Steal all his socks

9. Do crappy imitations of him

10. Make him watch Yaoi

11. Sex talk him again

12. Lecture him on 'using protection'

13. Tie Kisa to a chair

14. When he's taking a bath let Shigure in the room

15. Lock him in a room with Kyo

16. Give him an 'I love Tohru' T-shirt

17. Put him in a knitting class with a bunch of girl-scouts

18. Replace his boxers with Ayame's bedazzled lace

19. Make him talk to people

20. Force him to babysitt

21. Stay under his bed for the rest of your life

22. Buy him a sheep dog

23. Shave his head

24. Collect the hair and scream: "WOOL!"

25. Try to make a sweater out of it

26. Ditch him at a farm

27. Feed him lamb-chops

28. Pick up a gun and scream: "Who want's lamb for dinner?"

29. Make Kisa watch 'Saw', so she becomes scared of everything for the rest of her life.

30. Poke him

31. Buy him a rainbow scarf everyday for the rest of his life

32. Ask him if he is the goat fo the zodiac

33. When he says he's the sheep laugh

34. Then say: "No silly, ther isn't a sheep there's a goat!"

35. Kepp fighting with him about it for the rest of his life

36. Call his cell-phone every five minutes

37. Make him watch 'glee'

38. Start lecturing him about 'being careful when him and Kisa start having sex, etc.'

39. Invite Shigure into the conversation

40. Invite Hatori into the conversation

41. Invite Ayme into the conversation

42. Volunteer him at a child-care center

43. Volunteer him as a funny-clown

44. Follow him

45. Tie him to a PMSing Rin

46. Replace his videos with porn when he has Kisa over

47. Sing him 'happy birthday' when it's not his birthday

48. Give him Barbies on his 'birthday'

49. Follow him screaming baa

50. Push him and then scream: "Baa rhyms with fall! Ha, ha, ha!"

_Authors Note: Woo-hoo Hiro's okay! Dedicated to - I 3 Hiro_


	9. Shigure Sohma

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, Natsuki Takaya does.

This chapter might be more T rated, it depends on your opinion.

50 Ways To Annoy Shigure Sohma

1. Bark non-stop every time you see him

2. Stand in his room...forever!

3. Video tape him and Akito doing 'stuff'

4. When he's writing flash the lights on and off

5. While flashing the lights scream: "Disco ball!"

6. Take out a bazooka and blow up his house

7. Ask him if he's gay, everyday

8. Insert a GPS under his skin and give his editor the remote thingy

9. Tie him to Kureno

10. Force him to watch Kureno and Akito make-out

11. Eat all his food

12. Only buy him wet dog food to eat

13. Slowly kill Aaya

14. Enlarge pictures of photo-shopped pictures of him and Aaya making-out

15. Send the pictures to his publishing company

16. Force him to bathe with Kureno

17. Call him 'Captain-Horny' for the rest of his life

18. Rewrite his books for him and then send them to his editor

19. Make sure there rewritten as Yaoi

20. Build him a dog house for his birthday

21. Lock him in it

22. Lock him in it while it's raining.

23. Take away the high school girls

24. Whistle when you want to call him, like a real dog

25. Make sure ALL girls hate him

26. Tell him there are a bunch of girls waiting for him in a room; Make sure it's Kureno instead

27. Or make sure all the girls are ugly

28. 'Do' Akito

29. Constantly bug him about how he 'slept with his wifes mom'

30. Let Hatori ruin all his fun

31. Tie him, his editor, and a PMSing Akito together

32. Set his house on fire

33. Force the ashes down his throat

34. Call the cops on him for touching you

35. Write a book about 'The childhood of Shigure Sohma', for all his fans to read

36. Make sure EVERY story is embarassing

37. Use an angry Hatori for imformation

38. Include 'stories' about him and Aaya

39. Turn him into his zodiac form and bring him to the vet

40. Tell the vet he needs ALL his shots

41. Tell the vet you want him neutered

42. While he's still in dog form take him to a playground full of little kids

43. Every time you see him consistently ask if Ayame has a vagina

44. Make him go to the bathroom in the yard 'like a real dog'

45. Tell an angry Akito whom is holding a gun, that he cheated on her

46. Tell her he cheated with Hiro

47. Vidoe tape all the commotion and send it to everyone

48. Scream 'rape' every time he talks to you

49. Replace all his clothes with the kind of dresses he wants to see young girls in

50. Steal his song 'High School Girls' so he can never sing it again! Mwuhahaha!

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_Authors Note: That was hard, but fun! Hope you enjoyed, feel free to request people, and have a fun day! - TheNecromancerSorceress Dedicated to: TheShanTM !_


	10. Kazuma Sohma Shishou

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, Natsuki Takaya does.**

50 Ways To Annoy Kazuma Sohma/ Shishou

1. Stab Kyo

2. Tell him his Grandfather will never forgive him

3. Slap him in the head with a fish

4. Tie yourself to him

5. Sing the 'Gay Barbie' song loudly while tied to him

6. Set his house on fire

7. Tell him he looks like a man-whore because he likes Hanajima

8. Tell him he's a pedophile for dating Hanijama

9. Constantly bug him about being an elf

10. Call him a child-molester

11. Tie him to a rocket ship

12. Send a fake video to Kyo of him watching porn

13. Pants him in public (Including underwear) and run

14. Color his face with permanent markers

15. Laugh at him

16. Take pictures

17. Put pens in his ears so they get stuck

18. When he's sleeping, put a pad over his eyes and take pictures

19. Put a fake video of him eating tampons on you tube

20. Send it to everyone he knows

21. Send it to everyone you know

22. Play it at school

23. Die his hair rainbow

24. Call him captain clown for the rest of his life

25. Make him teach angry pregnant women karate

26. Buy him a man eating tiger

27. Lock him in a room with it

28. Tell Kisa he's trying to make fun of her

29. When with, him trash talk Kyo rapidly

30. Talk to him like he's an idiot

31. Ask if he's a lamp shade for 38 consecutive hours

32. Melt four-thousand pounds of cheese on his chest

33. Sign him up on a dating site as an sixteen-year old, cheerleading girl

34. Fill his bathtubs with Tarantulas' (spiders)

35. Refer to Hanijama as his 'bitch'

36. Pretend to be convinced he is a prostitute

37. Ask him how many girls he did today, daily

38. Ask him how many guys he's did, daily

39. Ask him if he used to practice on Kyo

41. Let Hiro shoot him with a paint ball gun

42. After he beats you in karate, suddenly take out a baseball bat and begin hitting him

43. Hit him unconscious and then tie him to an evil PMSing Akito

44. Run around smashing his dojo with a machete

45. Show him a kitten you found on the street, then kill it in front of him

46. Tell him you were merely role-playing Kyo's future with Akito

47. Kill Hanijama

48. Tie him to the roof in the middle of a thunderstorm

49. Leave him there for three days

50. Photoshop pictures of him and Yuki making out, post them on the internet for EVERYONE to see (especially Hanajima and Machi)

_Authors Note: That was a bit challenging, but fun! I hope you enjoyed! Dedicated to - Kari Sohma_


	11. Hatori Sohma

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, Natsuki Takaya does… maybe someday I'll eat the books and say I 'pwned' them, ha ha!

**Partial T rating.**

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50 Ways To Annoy The Famous Hatori Sohma

1. Call him a sea whore-se

2. Ask him if he's pregnant

3. Then ask him why he's so fat

4. Ask him weather Shigure or Ayame's the mommy

5. Introduce Ayame to coffee and then tape him the ceiling of his bedroom

6. Add a microphone to the situation and a speakers all around the house

7. Force him to wear tights; just tights

8. Tell Ayame he wants to order a lace thong and maid outfit

9. Set it up so he's watching porno when Ayame and Shigure burst through the door

10. Trash talk Kana

11. Order him Playboy

12. Introduce Momiji to COFFEE

13. Sit in his office and play trumpet as LOUD as you can

14. Replace all his clothes with Ayame's maid outfits

15. Get rid of EVERYTHING he could use to cover up so he's forced to wear them

16. Take pictures

17. Put them on the internet

18. Put him in emo-therapy (nothing against emo)

19. Tie him to a chair and give him a five-hour 'Cutting is bad' lecture (nothing against emo, if you find this offensive please message me)

20. Start a big fight between Hatsuharu, Kyo, Yuki, and Kagura in his office.

21. Convince Ayame and Shigure he's gay

22. Also convince them he's seriously in love with Kureno

23. Make sure Kureno also knows this

24. Help Ayame and Shigure try to set up Kureno and Ha'ri

25. Blast Kesha songs while he's trying to work

26. Blast 3OH!3 songs while he is very busy

27. Blast Lady Gaga songs while he try's to fill out paperwork

28. Sing LOUDLY

29. And out of tune

30. Convince Shigure, Ayame and Momiji to join your 'symphony'

31. Ayame can 'play' piccolo

32. Shigure can 'play' Trumpet

33. Momiji can 'play' violin

34. You can 'play' oboe

35. Practice at his house

36. Ask him to overview your 'homework' constantly; even after he agrees to

37. Make sure the 'homework' is gay porn

38. Accompanied by pictures on the next page

39. And it's actually exerts from Shigure's books

40. Have conversations with Shigure in Spanish; keep looking over at him, so it looks like you talking about him

41. Giggle frantically during this conversation.

42. Sing/scream 'shut up and sleep with me' in his ear

43. Shigure should help sing the chorus

44. Ayame should 'dance'

45. And design the costumes

46. Build a sand castle in his office; remember this requires SAND

47. Through him a birthday party

48. Crumple up all his work papers

49. Buy him a fish tank full of 100 chatty sea horses

50. Create the Follow-Hatori-Everywhere-He-Goes club, and invite Momiji, Shigure, Ayame, Akito, Kana, and Kagura to it

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Auhtors Note: I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED UNTIL NOW! I SHOULD DIE! Anyway hope you enjoyed, if you found this one to pervy sorry. I just figured it would annoy him the most because Shigure and Ayame are like that! I am still working on Tohru...

P.S. Baby bibs and guns is finished!


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